Hayden Andrew

I've been working on this post for 8 years and it's taken me this long to get my words together. I know that I've left some things out but this is all that I am capable of sharing right now.

After we lost Bryton we were ecstatic to find out that we were pregnant again. We tried not to get too excited until we made it past 10 weeks gestation. We started making plans and buying things that we would need for the baby.

I had severe morning sickness but the doctor assured me that everything was fine. I spent my days coming up with names and getting our small basement apartment ready. At 19 weeks we found out that we were having another boy and we were over the moon and couldn't wait to be parents.

We decided to come to San Diego for Christmas 2002 and shortly after we got back home to Utah I was put on bed rest. I was tired but everything was progressing perfectly. I woke on the morning of February 21st to the baby kicking me. I got up and got ready for my appointment that day. The doctor took one look at me and knew that something was off. Blood was drawn and I was sent home to rest. 1 hour later my doctor called and insisted that I get to the hospital. I was immediately admitted and Robert was called at work and told to come join me.

The doctors told Robert that I had gone septic and that my kidney's and heart were shutting down. They then told him that our son had passed way and to not expect me to live through the delivery. Robert called my parents and they drove 800 miles through the night to get to the hospital in time.

I was sent to the ICU and given pitocin to start labor. I remember crying and it hurting so much but being afraid to scream and let the nurses know how much pain I was in. I wasn't allowed to have any pain killers because of the multiple organ failure, so I delivered our son without meds. Our perfect Angel was born at 2am on February 22, 2003. He weighed 2 lbs and was 16 inches long.

As soon as Hayden was born I received 2 different blessings(one was from my OB) and 4 blood transfusions. I was pumped full of medications and to the shock and disbelief of the doctors and against all odds, I lived through the night.

The next morning the nurses asked if I wanted to see our son and I wanted nothing to do with him because it hurt so much. That night my Mom was able to convince me that in order to heal, I needed to say goodbye. As soon as I held him I knew he was meant to be ours and that his name should be Hayden Andrew. He was given a name and a blessing and then taken to the morgue.

The morning of the 24th I was taken off all of the machines because miraculously I was healing and my heart and kidney's showed no signs of distress. I was sent to the bereavement wing of the hospital so that I could finish recovering. I had lost so much muscle and coordination that I had to learn how to walk again before I could go home.

I was so worried that I wouldn't be able to attend my own sons funeral which was planned for the 28th. I worked really hard and thanks to the amazing care I recieved I was able to go home on the 27th. I still wasn't 100% better so I spent the next 4 months at home on bedrest while I recovered. It was 5 months until I was released from my doctors care.

During this time I experienced some of the darkest days of my life and I was so scared that it would drive us apart. At one point I was so depressed that I seriously considered taking my own life. Luckily, I was blessed with an amazing husband who loved me through the darkness and the worst experience of our lives actually made us stronger and more determined to love each other.

To this day my doctors still have no clue what made me so sick or how on earth I survived.

Happy Anniversary, Mr. Parker!

They say that finding the love of your life is a rare thing - heck, I still have friends that are searching for theirs... but thankfully I have mine. Today my husband and I celebrate 15 years of marriage. It seems like we've been together forever but sometimes it seems like we just met, yesterday. I am still amazed at how much we have grown not only as a couple but as individuals. We have our own little family now and while things can be challenge for us, we tackle them together as one.

On February 2, 2002, Robert and I were married in La Jolla at the LDS Temple in a beautiful ceremony. Times have certainly changed since then, I remember the day like it was yesterday, surrounded by our loved ones helped to truly make it a wonderful day. Now - 15 years later we have three boys and two girls.

Dear Mr. Parker,

As we celebrate 15 years of being married today, I am reminded of the vows we took so many years ago. Our lives were simpler then, but while it's much more interesting now - it's comforting to know that the last 15 years I have grown as a woman, a wife and mother with you by my side. We have never had a dull moment and sometimes we don't get to rest as much as we would like, but the challenges we've had are a great reminder of how far we have come and a celebration of our journey together.

As I write this letter, I can't help but think where my life would be if we had made a different choice 15 years ago. Our situations would be different, our lives on various paths. It's hard to fathom but I realize that without you my life would never be the same... and it was God's plan that our paths would cross. Everything happens for a reason, and God's reason was that we were to be together.

Through all of our trials and challenges, I am always reminded of our love. You are my strength, my equal and my biggest supporter. I am who I am today and who I strive to be because of you. No matter what our future holds, I'm proud to have you by my side as we walk into the unknown and face whatever it is that comes our way - head on.

I love you for an eternity, always and forever!

Mrs. Parker

Bryton Christopher

I am sharing the stories of our two oldest sons in an effort to do some healing.

All I have ever wanted from the time I was a little girl helping my Mom with the Daycare kids; was to be a Mother.

This is Bryton Christopher's story. It is very short but it helped make me who I am today.

When I met Robert we decided that we wanted to start our family right away. Robert and I were married on February 2, 2002. On March 18, 2002 we found out I was exactly 6 weeks pregnant (Yes, for those of you who just did the math in your heads, I got pregnant almost immediately) we were ecstatic!

At my second appointment on April 12th we found out that our baby's heart had stopped beating. I remember hoping and praying that the doctors were wrong and that our baby was still alive. I refused to believe it.

Robert and I had gone out to run errands and were in Walmart when I started to miscarry. We went home and after a few hours of unbearable pain we went straight to the ER. I refused an IV for pain meds be ause I was so so afraid of needles and ended up laboring in intense pain for about 2 hours.

I remember going home and staying bed for a week crying non-stop. We had a very strong impression that the baby was a boy so we named him Bryton Christopher.

I will forever be grateful to my Heavenly Father for giving me the opportunity to be a Mother to such a special spirit. It has been 14 years since he passed away and I still think about him every single day.

 I will be sharing Hayden's story soon.

December

 December was crazy since we moved on the 10th. There aren't a lot of pictures from that month.

 We got a real tree because I didn't feel like going to all the work of setting up our artificial tree for only two weeks. It was nice to smell but it was so very messy.

 Sage built this Christmas Scene out of Lego's

November

On October 20th, we had to have Houdini put to sleep. He was very sick and it just wasn't fair to keep him with us for our own selfish reasons. We all miss him terribly but we know that he is happier now that he is free from pain and able to run, jump and play with Bryton and Hayden in Heaven.

 The kids love sending balloons to our loved ones who have passed so we decided to send one to Houdini.

 Old Man, Robert turned 40 this month.

Aurora and I were able to attend her first Broadway Play. It was amazing!

October

 I'm finally catching up with pictures. I've been extremely forgetful about our blog.

 Houdini loved getting into things. Oh, how I miss him.

We learned about the mechanics and science behind roller coasters using plumbing insulation and marbles. Of course, Houdini had to be right in the middle of it.

 We built roller coasters out of marble mazes. I loved teaching this unit. 

 Cuddle time with Simba and Tiger.

 Sage got new glasses. He looks so grown up.

 We celebrated Back to The Future Day by making Flux Capacitors for Art

 I spoiled myself and had my friend Shawna make me a birthday cake. Easily the best

birthday cake known to man.

 It was a great birthday!

 Happy Halloween from Zombie Sage and Aurora the Bumblebee

I {HEART} A SHARP PENCIL, TAKE 2!

A little over three years ago I reviewed an amazing pencil sharpener HERE from Classroom Friendly Supplies. A couple of weeks ago the company contacted me to do another review of their amazing sharpener in their newest color "Popular Purple". I jumped at the chance because I love this pencil sharpener as much as I love all of my other school supplies.

Step 1: 

Pull out the silver piece and squeeze the black squares to insert the pencil into the sharpener.

 Step 2:

Place your hand on top and turn the handle. The sharpener will slow down once the pencil has been sharpened.

 Step 3:

Squeeze the black squares to remove your pencil from the sharpener.

Not only does this sharpener out perform all of the other sharpeners we have had in the past it saves us quite a bot of money of purchasing pencils for school since it is impossible to over sharpen a pencil with the sharpener. 

Here is our new "Popular Purple" pencil sharpener among our school supplies on our Homeschool shelf. I love the pop of color it adds!

Sassy Mouth

Anyone who knew my Grandma Bigler, me as a child and now knows Aurora will know that she's is a carbon copy of us. Her sassy mouth originated with her Great Grandma Bigler. I inherited it and passed it directly onto Aurora. 

This morning when she woke up she picked out her clothes, shoes and accessories for the day and then proceeded to pick out matching clothes for her sister, Lydia. 

They are both wearing dark denim shorts, black shirts, yellow flip flops, Blake Shelton hats and glasses(Aurora's are fake).

After they were dressed, Lydia was putting Aurora's hair in a ponytail and said something sassy to Aurora. Aurora's sassy response was...... "Excuse me? Who's buying you ice cream today? That's right, me! I can always change my mind you know?!"

This little girl cracks me up! She even has a certain facial expression that reminds me exactly of my Grandma Bigler. Aurora was only two weeks old when my Grandma passed away so it is amazing to see her everyday in my little sassy mouthed Princess.

Expedition Earth - South Korea

This week we learned about South Korea. We learned how to say Hello, Thank You and Goodbye in Korean and learned everything we could about the country. We also had some yummy seaweed snacks.

Dr. Who

Sage and Aurora have been obsessed with Dr. Who for about a year now and are always re-enacting episodes. Sage finally realized that he could build his own T.A.R.D.I.S out of Lego's. I love these kids and their imaginations!